Only Human
by Snow Whites Poison Kiss
Summary: Sex has always been a big part of relationships. We do it to reproduce and we do it because, apparently, it feels fan-fucking-tastic. Eren is the one percent who doesn't get it, and this leaves him heartbroken and alone every time a guy tries. Levi, ironically, was the only one who didn't try. The only one who learned that some people prefer comfortable silence over sex. /Modern AU
1. Chapter 1: It's Not Me It's You

A/N- I am one big asswipe, starting a new story like this. But an ace!Eren and playboy!Levi was just totally necessary I had to do it. I saw a post on Tumblr mentioning the lack of ace! fics, and I think this is a pretty important topic for a lot of people, including myself. I hope I can capture this rarely approached orientation well enough throughout this fic ^^

The only thing I really have to say is; this story is only rated M because of strong language and MILD (like hella light mild) sexual situations (Just like FF guidelines call for- What a rare occurrence. An M rated story that isn't MA xD) Eren's asexual, after all. After a failed to mention I'm asexual situation, the most intense thing that will happen will be comfort cuddles and chaste kisses.

Comments are always strongly advised and painfully desired. They motivate faster updates, too ;3

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><p><em>It's Not Me... It's You<em>

_Gross... _Eren shifted uncomfortably beneath Jean and winced when he felt a tongue against his neck. He tried to hold still when teeth scraped against his skin, but he shuddered instead. Wasn't that a good thing though? People shuddered when someone sucked on their neck like a leech, right? Maybe Jean would mistake it for what it _could_ have been, not for what it was.

He groaned when Jean ground himself against his waist, but he'd watched enough porn (an endeavor to at least know how to pretend) to understand that even his groan sounded like he'd end up sick. It had probably put the best porn star's fake cries to shame.

"I'm sorry, Eren... This isn't working..."

The relief Eren felt as those sloppy lips left his neck and the weight of Jean's body disappeared _almost_ overshadowed the way his heart shattered.

Again.

He'd failed Jean and himself.

_Again._

One would think his boyfriend was just pointing out that the necking and grinding wasn't working, but Eren knew better. He had those words down to a science, and he knew what it would lead to.

Wiping his neck off and dressing with fervor, Eren mimicked Jean, "_It's not you, it's me._" A glare and he continued on by himself. "Don't pull that bullshit, I know it's me. I'm the freak here, Jean. If it were you then it'd be every other guy who's tried to make me horny. And that's _every single guy, _which makes me outnumbered; it's _clearly_ _me_."

"Eren..."

God, how he hated that look of pity. Like he was missing out on something by not wanting to have sex._  
><em>

With a growl, he grabbed a pillow and hurled it at his naked probably-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend. "That's all it ever is with you guys! Cocks and ass, boners and sex! Why can't _you _try to be happy the way _I_ am- I'm _sick _of having to be the one to try and make things work just because I'm _different_!" he burst, nearly hyperventilating as he tried to speak his mind instead of appease Jean. "To me, _you're _weird and different, so why can't _you_ pretend to care less about sex?"_  
><em>

Jean practically paled and struggled to find his words for a moment, and when he did they didn't do much to calm Eren's rage.

"It's not like that, Eren," the blond insisted softly. "It's just, you know, when you really like someone, you want to be together-"

"I'm not fucking ten, Jean, don't talk to me like you're about to tell me how babies are made. You shouldn't have to fuck me to _be _with me," Eren interrupted, trying to get everything he had never said off of his chest.

It scared him, though. The second Jean had looked at him, pitying him, he had been scared. They had lasted six months, and occasionally Eren would try to give into Jean's persistence; after all, it was the longest relationship he had ever been in. Would they get anywhere though? No. Eren believed it set them back more often than not. It was all just too much of a bother when nothing felt _good _and everything felt _gross_.

And this had just been the icing on the cake, so to speak. There had been a sense of finality in Jean's words, which meant in the next month or so Jean would be moving out and Eren would be on his own.

Again.

The thought brought his ragged breathing to a halt. He _couldn't _be alone, he _hated_ it. He liked when someone stayed up late with him and talked to him, why did he have to offer up to keep that?

"Jean, don't. Don't leave," he pleaded suddenly, but the other boy was already dressed and pulling out his phone. No doubt to make arrangements for a place to stay.

Hazel eyes, solemn and rather apologetic, met his and Jean shrugged. "I can't do this anymore, Eren. It doesn't feel like we're in a relationship, it feels like we're just roommates trying to make it through college. I love you, but..."

There he went again, throwing around "I love you's" like he did every time they failed. Eren _knew _if Jean really did love him, he'd be able to go without the sex. He wouldn't say it when he needed gloss over a shitty situation.

Eren's legs nearly gave out and he was glad the end result was the bed. He bit into his thumb, trying to ignore the threatening sting of tears as Jean spoke softly into his phone and began moving around the room.

"I'll stay at Marco's until I can find another place," Jean informed him softly.

Eren felt a flash of humiliation and anger wash over him. _Marco_. He'd have been stupid not to even suspect Jean when he was all about _Marco _half the time- it wasn't a rare occurrence, after all; the guys who did try to stay with him usually ended up seeking pleasure from others. And Eren had a way of picking guys who weren't all that great at hiding it.

If Jean were going now he might as well figure it out.

"Did you ever..." Eren started carefully, but the look on Jean's face told him everything. Desperation drew out his next plea, "It's okay if you did, Jean. I don't care, if that's what helps-"

A stern look from Jean shut him up. "It _doesn't _help. I hated going behind your back to do that shit! But I just _can't _go without a physical relationship, Eren. You don't even fucking cuddle- who doesn't cuddle?" he exclaimed.

_There it is_, Eren thought with slow resignation.

As if he realized he may have just rubbed salt on the wound, Jean softened up and sighed. "Look, you deserve better. Find someone who can go without the physicality. I guarantee you you'll be happier without the stress."

With nothing more to add, and not entirely ready to humiliate himself further, Eren watched silently as Jean shoved some clothes in a bag and grabbed his keys. With a rather apologetic smile, Jean moved towards him and bent to press a chaste kiss against his forehead. Mumbling another apology and a goodbye, Jean was gone.

The second the door to their-_ his-_ apartment clicked shut, Eren grabbed the alarm clock and hurled it at the wall with a ragged scream.

_Every time_, he thought while working to fight the tears. He managed to keep them back until a battered and ratty little kitten by the name of Rogue padded into the room with a soft cry. The animal worked at his socks, snagging its claws and spazzing until Eren picked him up and buried his face in the little body. He needed to listen to the fuzzball more often; he was an excellent judge of character. Rogue had hated Jean and the two before Jean the second they had stepped foot into the apartment.

And look at where he was now; alone and pitied.

"I'm done, Rogue," Eren mumbled into the fur, ignoring the low growl of protest as he squeezed the kitten. "No more dating for me. It'll be just us from now on."

He collapsed onto the bed and sighed as Rogue managed to curl up on his face, mewling happily as if that were the greatest idea in the world. The solid and furry body blocked the harsh light, and may have absorbed tears Eren would never admit to, but did little to stop the image of Jean leaving from replaying over and over in his head.

* * *

><p>"Damn, Yeager. You look like shit." Reiner, always the honest one.<p>

"Jean keep you up all night, tiger?" That was Connie.

"Don't be silly. Eren's above sex. You were safe if you did, though. Right?" Oh, how he could always rely on Mikasa.

Eren had never been more relieved to see Armin at his desk. While he loved all of his friends, and had been happy that more than a few of them had made it into the LAPD with him, Armin had to be his favorite. And Mikasa couldn't count; sibling ranking debunked her humanity.

"Are you okay?" Armin asked softly after Eren had slumped into the chair behind his desk and ungracefully shoved files out of the way. He was basically a grunt anyway, they just gave him the files to make him look like he was busy until a fight broke out at some bar. Or a kitten got stuck in a tree.

Contrary to popular belief, it was the cops who dealt with that. Firemen just liked to pull bullshit out of their asses. He'd punch the next one who mentioned Rogue's rescue; that had been all Eren and he had the ragtag little shit to prove it.

"Just peachy," Eren mumbled a bit bitterly. "It happened again," he added under his breath. If anyone would know anything about his situation, it would be Armin. He'd been the one who'd helped Eren realize he was asexually homosexual, and after _that_ absolutely horrifying experience they'd actually come out of it closer.

Unfortunately, Eren would never be able to say the same about his exes.

Surprise flashed in those blue eyes, and Armin shook his head slowly, doubtfully. "Jean left? Seriously?" he asked. Far too loudly, in Eren's opinion, because everyone in the office who knew him swarmed his desk.

"Who's fault was it? Did you fight? Was it bad?" Connie pressed, eyes wide as he bounced in place. Ever so eager, of course.

Sasha slapped his shoulder. "Don't be rude, Connie. When we talk to Eren about it, it's Jean's fault. When we talk to Jean about it, it's Eren's. That's how things like this work."

"Oh..." Connie hummed, as if it made total sense.

"I'll kick his ass," Reiner declared firmly, then with a rather hesitant glance in Mikasa's direction, he stuttered, "If Mikasa requires any help, that is."

Armin just threw Eren a nervous smile while Mikasa glared at his pencil holder.

"Fuck off~" Eren groaned, his head pounding at the sudden onslaught and the lack of space. Turning to Armin to specifically exclude his gossiping friends, he asked, "I'm going down to Shina tonight. You in?"

The blond frowned, concern etched into his face. Shina was probably one of the loudest, wildest, bars in LA, and a place Eren often frequented after a bad breakup.

"Relax, Armin. I'm not going to hookup- I _don't _hookup, remember? I just need a friend and some booze," he explained with what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Besides, I promised Rogue I wouldn't be dating for a very long time. Dating isn't for people like me," Eren added softly, ignoring Armin's nearly pitiful gaze.

After all, Armin's pity and Jean's pity were two totally different things.

"You'll find someone," Armin assured him. "You just need to calm down, sit back, and wait for him to fall at your feet."

Smirking, Eren agreed. "I do like the sound of that. I'm sick of groveling for second chances. Someone else needs to do it for a change." The desperation he had displayed towards Jean the night before had woken him up a bit.

If he could find just _one_ guy who didn't have to _try_ to be with him, Eren would be set for life. He'd just need that one guy to understand he wasn't a total fuck up. He needed someone who couldn't give one shit about who he was, or care about what he could and couldn't do... someone who would just be happy with _him. _

As Armin patted his shoulder and walked away, Eren laughed softly to himself. The chances of finding someone like that were zero to none; Eren Yeager was destined to be "forever alone."

_At least I have Rogue_, he thought with a bitter, almost self-deprecating, smile.


	2. Chapter 2: Freakshow

"I'll give you Friskies for a week if you piss on his stuff, Rogue," Eren told his pet softly, holding the animal up to eye level and meeting his dumbfounded gaze earnestly. Rogue held it for what felt like ages before he wriggled and let out a cry of protest. "Friskies, Rogue. _Friskies_," he promised after dropping Rogue and watching the beat up kitten tear down the hallway.

Unfortunately, Rogue passed up the soft, fresh, clothes for his litter box. Jean had trained him well, Eren had to admit, but just like it had for the past three hours, thinking of Jean still hurt. He half expected the blond to turn up after midnight, tired but obnoxious, just as he usually did.

Now that he was gone, Eren knew where he'd been going that kept him out until midnight. But that didn't matter anymore. Instead, Eren was focusing on keeping his cool, packing up Jean's stuff so when he _did _show up he'd be in and out, and resisting the urge to dip his clothes in honey then roll them around in Rogue's litter. It was a totally foreign feeling for him, he'd never moved in with a lover after all, and Eren decided he wouldn't be doing so again. The anger was getting close to unbearable.

After three months of living together, Eren had ended up creating new habits, setting things up a certain way... Living with and around another person. Now that said person was gone, he didn't know what to do. It was silent, empty, and lonely, even with Rogue's demanding personality spicing up the place.

Eren talked to himself more now than ever before.

In an effort to distract himself after organizing Jean's stuff, he had cleaned the apartment down to the vacuum- an endeavor that had terrified Rogue but had been no less hysterical. The small living room was unusually spotless, his room was mostly clear if you didn't count the uniform he had neglected to wash and Jean's boxes, and the bathroom was almost clean. He had gotten a bit lazy once he had hit the kitchen, so he had passed it up as a reward for working so hard prior.

Eren had just settled on his couch with a glass of wine for some of Spanish soap operas, something that could easily take his mind off of Jean, when a tentative knock came from his door.

Assuming it was Armin, Eren paused in front of the hallway mirror, fixed his stylishly tousled hair, righted his simple black shirt, then slid into the leather jacket he had stolen from Jean. Eren figured he had rights to at least one of the things Jean had left... Why not take the authentic and most expensive leather item his ex owned?

It looked better on him anyway.

He was almost smug when he opened the door to find Jean shuffling awkwardly in front of it. The other boy looked a bit tired, while Eren stood tall and knew he looked hot; unattainable but single. The surprise on Jean's face was worth it.

"You... You're going out already? Is that my jacket?" Jean stuttered, totally confused and dumbfounded.

Eren felt himself slipping into familiar denial; he _knew _how to deal with guys like this. He was better at handling the breakups than the actual relationships.

"I'm going down to Shina, yeah. I can't do that? Is there a time limit, because I'm pretty sure I waited longer than you did," he answered, ignoring the comment about the jacket altogether. Jean let it go easily, but Eren had the feeling Jean just didn't want to fight so soon yet.

Eren, however, had chosen the jacket on purpose to make a scene. It was his favorite jacket after all, and Jean had blown eight hundred on it- a huge fee for the struggling artist.

And now he wasn't getting one.

"I've known you since we were eighteen, Eren. You're going to make the same mistake you did with the last guy," Jean mumbled while scratching the back of his neck and shifting uncomfortably again. "The reason you wait is so you have better judgement."

"You _are_ the last guy, Jean," Eren snorted but made no move to allow the other boy in. He could stand outside the door and suffer a bit more. "Unlike you, I can go out to a club and not get carried away. I'm just going to hangout with Armin."

Jean sneered at that. "No one goes to Shina to _hangout_."

"What else would I do?" Eren asked wearily, throwing the blond a flat look.

Stunned silent at that, Jean just shrugged before moving onto a different subject. "Look, I just left some stuff here, and I need to hurry..."

Eren allowed him in at that and gestured down the entryway. "I packed your stuff. Wouldn't want to keep you from Marco for too long..."

"Eren..." The pained look Jean threw him sent Eren for a loop, but he quickly steeled himself and shooed him towards their- _his_- room.

He wondered if he'd ever get used to that.

Eren decided that, yes, he would, when an enraged curse echoed through the small apartment.

"Eren, it pissed on my stuff!" Jean screamed as he stormed out of his bedroom, holding a pair of pants between to fingers and shaking them furiously.

Rogue sat in the doorway, dazed green eyes locked smugly on the retreating figure.

"If you didn't refer to Rogue as an it maybe he wouldn't," Eren responded coolly while making a mental note to buy a weeks worth of Friskies.

Jean fumed and threw the soiled pants on the couch. "You're so fucking impossible to live with!" he burst, no longer tiptoeing around the issue.

Eren could only shrug and look down at the curious cat behind him. He didn't think he was ready to have this fight after all.

"It was hard living with you, too," he admitted quietly and as calmly as he could. "Everyday I had to stress over whether or not you were going to leave, or come back ready to make a move..." Recalling the dig Jean had gotten in the night before he added, "I didn't cuddle with you because you always tried to make it sexual... Cuddling isn't supposed to be sexual, Jean..."

"And that's why we didn't work out," Jean practically snarled.

"We didn't work out because we couldn't handle each other. And maybe that was for the best," Eren bristled, falling into the familiar ritual of fighting. That had been the dynamic of their relationship; fighting. They carried it out so simply and naturally it almost felt wrong without a good fight every other day- no matter how harmless.

His phone went off in his pocket, a text from Armin, and with a slight smirk Eren turned on his heel and grabbed his keys. "Get your stuff and head back to your freckled Goddess. I don't want you here when I get back. Leave your key on coffee table."

Slamming the door behind him, Eren nearly collapsed against it and held his breath. If he let it go, he'd probably cry, so instead he bit his tongue and gave himself time to calm down before gathering his courage and steeling himself for a night of drunken excitement.

* * *

><p>There had always been something about Shina that made Eren feel... <em>right<em>. You didn't have an identity in the pulsing crowd. Relationships were made and broken without the pain and loss, leaving behind a simple understanding that would fade to nothing the second someone else came along. Shina's scene was fast and furious, but polite and respectful.

If Eren didn't want to dance, he just had to sit at the bar. No one would bother him.

If he didn't want to flirt, all he'd have to do was smile. Conversations about music or fashion were just as easy.

If he didn't want a blowjob in the men's bathroom, he just had to use a urinal. They only offered if you used a stall.

Unfortunately, Armin didn't understand this, but Eren didn't exactly blame him. He wasn't aggressive enough to enjoy the thrashing crowd, and he didn't partake in the joys of intoxication so there was little for him to do to get over the lack of privacy.

There was, however, a small bar set in an alcove that allowed for some privacy, and Eren's friend grabbed his wrist to make a beeline for the area. It's where they always went, where Eren always got wasted, and where Armin would patiently listen to him vent about all of his failed relationships.

"You didn't tell Mikasa?" Eren asked, nearly having to scream over the deafening dubstep to be heard, before moving around Armin to carve their way through the grinding mass of people. Like always, he ignored the harmless groping- no one had their sights set on him. It was simply what you did at Shina; you reached for the closest body, seeking innocent intimacy for mere seconds at a time before moving on.

"Like I'd ever tell her again," Armin sneered after they stumbled into the nearly deserted alcove and grabbed two stools at the bar. "If she found out I let you come back here she'd be serving both of our heads to the guys," he stated confidently. He sobered after a moment though, and eyed Eren warily. "You won't be getting drunk tonight, will you? You know alcohol won't make the pain go away..."

Eren snorted. "Drunk? Tonight? Please, I have to work tomorrow, and I'd like to do so without a hangover," he answered.

But he did beg to differ. Alcohol took away his guilt, insecurity, and fear, making it easier to talk about his breakups and issues, which then made the pain... less painful. Besides, there was never a time Armin accompanied Eren to Shina without having to drag his drunk butt back to his apartment. _Not _getting drunk would be defying the laws of friendship and nature.

After Eren ordered three shots of vodka and a martini, Armin showed his acceptance with a glare and a single glass of water.

"I'm not okay with this," he said.

"I know," Eren agreed. "But this isn't enough to get me sloshed. Not like last time, last time was bad and I regret _everything_, but I need to get over this," he explained with a slight frown.

If he didn't go home at least a little tipsy he'd fall asleep in a pile of Jean's shirts again. Shirts that Rogue had probably peed on at that.

"I should pee on them myself," he muttered after downing the first three shots. He ignored Armin's startled gaze in favor of turning to the interior of the club.

That's when things got tricky, and the small hand on his shoulder told him that this frustration was coming through loud and clear. There was a certain freedom and recklessness Eren felt when he was in the middle of that dance floor, but a Friday night was no night to try it. Shina went from being a typical club to sex in a heartbeat on Fridays.

Even then, looking out at the consistently shifting mass, Eren wasn't entirely sure he could promise people weren't getting subtly fingered.

"I came here to forget, not dance," he told the blond, but the words were more of a reminder to himself than Armin. "Why don't we go socialize? Maybe find Erwin..." he suggested with a sly grin that came with surprising ease.

If there was one reason Armin came to Shina that topped being there for him, Eren was sure it was for Erwin Smith; manager of the establishment.

Armin's face burned with embarrassment and he hurried to deny the suggestion. "I-I... No, _we_, couldn't possibly... He's a busy man, after all. He doesn't need two-"

"Come on," Eren snorted. This time it was his turn to grab Armin's wrist and drag him around, the effort surprisingly easy. He was small and the muscle he had gained during daily workouts did very little to add to his overall weight.

Then again, Armin wasn't exactly resisting.

"If I can't have a decent love life I have to mess with yours," he declared honestly, yet again having to shout over the throbbing music.

"It's not a love life, Eren!" Armin protested, his blush becoming considerably more prominent on his rounded features.

Eren just rolled his eyes before turning his attention to the matter at hand. He skirted the dance floor, knowing the older man wouldn't be anywhere near that mess, then briefly considered the fact Erwin might not be there at all. He rarely supervised the club, he left that to security, but when he did show rumor had it that it was because the actual owner was somewhere in the vicinity.

Needless to say, Eren was just as curious about it as the rest of Shina's crowd, and he wasn't above joining in on the gossip. So the unbridled excitement he felt when he noticed the handsome blond was to be expected- he was almost glad no one else had zoned in on him yet.

Pushing Armin forward, he said, "You go first. I don't have a reason to talk to him unless you're around."

"I don't either!" Armin nearly exclaimed, but they were too close to the older man to avoid being heard.

_As striking as always_, Eren thought with a wistful sigh. Erwin was tall, blond, and handsome; authoritative but kind. Like a dad.

Eren snorted into his hand when he looked between his friend and Erwin, who had turned away from present company to acknowledge their existence. Or, more accurately, Armin's. The lighthearted glare he threw Eren told him that his snort had been noticed, received, and understood.

"It's been a while since I've seen you two here... Bad breakup, Eren?" Erwin began, oddly polite but carefully reserved. Eren felt like he was walking into a trap just by standing there, engaging the man himself, but Armin had no such reserves.

"Is there ever another reason?" Armin countered, nearly beaming at the older man.

"I'd hope so," Erwin replied softly, fondly, to Armin.

Eren could only glare. "I come to dance," he pointed out firmly.

"Either way we get your money."

The smile dropped from Armin's face, but both boy's regarded the older man with blatant interest and curiosity. They had both caught on to that "we," and both wanted to know where exactly the plural cause was.

Smiling ever so slightly, Erwin stepped to the left and revealed one of the most contradictory guys Eren had ever seen.

He was shorter than Eren by at least five inches inches, and what his tank top didn't cover, tattoos did; vivid flowers, patterns, phrases, and even grotesque animals, all from his neck to his wrists. There were at least six studs in each ear, and a cross dangled from his left. Metal glinted against a delicate eyebrow, and even his nose and bottom lip sported a single hoop.

The eyeliner was unusually pristine, the lines clean, leaving his skin free of any black smudges. His hair was just as neat, split straight down the middle and left over the shaved sides.

He was currently wiping his arms down with an antibacterial wipe, and eyeing Eren with poorly restrained interest. After he was done with the wipe, he pulled out a small bottle of germ-x from a pair of jeans that clung unbelievably tightly to his legs.

"Levi," Erwin mused, gesturing to the smug shrimp with a simple flick of his wrist. "The official owner of Shina."

Eren and Armin both gaped, but Eren was the one to speak first. "_Owner_? He looks like he's a teen going through an identity crisis!"

"You little fucking shit," Levi snapped easily, almost naturally, and his interest gave way to subtle anger.

"Eren!" Armin hissed as he slapped his arm. Levi didn't spare him a glance, instead seeming perfectly content to stare Eren down with a steely gray glare.

Eren held his ground while Eren shifted and smiled somewhat proudly.

"You should take that as a compliment, Levi," the blond chuckled, nudging the reserved yet furious man as if it were something that was said to him all the time.

Eren was willing to bet it was.

"I'm so sorry, Eren just... He doesn't think- he's rude to everyone, so-"

"Armin," Erwin interrupted softly as he placed a large hand on Armin's shoulder. "Why don't I buy you a drink?" he offered with the very same charming smile he had used just minutes before.

Armin's face burned and he gestured weakly at Eren, his whispered words totally inaudible, before clearing his throat and nodding. "Uh, yeah... You'll be fine, right, Eren?"

_No drinking, huh_, Eren thought rather dismally. He supposed it was the least he could do though, Armin deserved to be treated more than anyone he knew, and drinking himself silly wouldn't be doing his friend any favors.

Eren hoped, however, that this was Erwin trying to politely grab a chance to flirt with Armin, and not just a sadistic whim to leave Eren floundering in his boss' presence. Because that was exactly what he was doing under that relentless glare.

"How... How old are you anyway?" Eren tried, more than intimidated by the half pint.

"Older than sixteen," Levi snapped.

He didn't walk away, but neither did Eren.

"You, uh... Have a nice club going..." _Why am I even trying?_

"I know."

_No modesty_, Eren thought with a slight sneer. Levi noticed and smirked, his sharp gaze yet again moving along the length of Eren's body. His tongue darted out against his lip, flipping the silver hoop in it. It was a clear, thoughtful, and maybe even subconscious habit.

That made Eren feel like a piece of meat.

_Figures._

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," he nearly growled, but the remark only seemed to entertain the other man more.

Levi stepped closer with no apparent issue in having to look up at Eren, and muttered, "Maybe I will." His hand came up between them and Eren was momentarily blinded by the sudden flash that came from it.

Levi stepped back quickly, out of reach by the time it processed.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" Eren exclaimed smartly, staring at the brash man in shock.

"Maybe I did," Levi shrugged while pocketing his phone.

Eren gaped like a fish out of water. Levi's pierced eyebrow rose until it was hidden behind his neat fringe.

"D-delete it!" he finally managed.

"I don't know... Will I be taking you home tonight?" Levi nearly purred.

"I just got out of a relationship, it's not happening," Eren snapped as nonchalantly as he could. He even curled his lip a bit and rolled his eyes.

"Shame," Levi commented dryly, his frown screaming his disbelief, but that little smirk was back just as quickly. "Then I guess I'll be keeping the picture..."

_He can't be serious_, Eren thought, sincerely disgusted by the shorter man's words. Again, Levi seemed to read his mind; he sneered and rolled his eyes.

"Don't flatter yourself, brat," Levi snorted. "I don't need a picture to get off, and being refused by you isn't heartbreaking," he continued, disinterest yet again flaring in his gray eyes. As if not being desired didn't faze him in the least. And, if the way he was now searching the clubs crowd was anything to go by, it didn't. "I'll see you around, kid," he started, distracted, while waving his goodbye, his sights already locked on a slim figure at the edge of the dance floor.

"Don't count on it!" Eren snapped as Levi turned on his heel and started towards that figure, smooth and almost naturally seductive.

_Disgusting_, he thought with a sneer.

Levi was walking towards the exit with the blushing guy not even five minutes later, much to Eren's amazement. He didn't think he'd ever seen someone get picked up so fast, and especially not by a guy like Levi. His appearance was probably appealing to this crowd, of course, but the second he opened his mouth it all went down the drain.

But it only proved his suspicion; Levi was just another guy one hundred and ten percent focused on sex. And _casual _sex at that.

Eren nearly sulked the entire way back to the bar, but paused just before calling out to his friend. Armin and Erwin both sat close together, their heads nearly touching as they talked. Armin wasn't blushing or even playing with his hair; they were simply talking, smiling softly, and gesturing lightly to emphasize what they said.

Erwin's hand landed lightly on Armin's knee as he chuckled, Armin leaned against him.

Eren left Shina feeling worse than he had before coming; lonely and hopeless.

Two opposing relationships thrown at him in one night, both flaunted, he realized, as he passed by Levi who had his target pressed close against the brick building. Both men were oblivious to their surroundings, even as Eren stood just feet away and called on a taxi, and maybe even eyed them wistfully for a few brief seconds.

If he could do what Levi and his date were doing, then he could have what Armin and Erwin had. He couldn't, however, have one without the other, and the rather disgruntled and confused look Levi threw him when he was noticed further drove that belief into his heart.

People just couldn't understand.


	3. Chapter 3: Disasterpiece

"_Are you sure you're not mad?_"

"One hundred and ten percent positive, Armin."

Eren turned his attention back to the massive aisle of Friskies as the sounds of struggle came through the phone. Holding it between his shoulder and cheek, he skimmed his fingers over the labels and wondered which flavor Rogue would actually like- the kitten was annoyingly picky and he did _not_ want to spend three dollars per small can for fourteen cans.

Spending that much money on ridiculously expensive cat food then going home to worry about Jean was not an appealing idea.

"_Eren__?_"

Placing the phone back in his hand, Eren returned his attention to his call, and, surprisingly enough, Erwin. Though, it shouldn't be so shocking that Armin had finally gotten the nerve to go home with the man.

"Still here and definitely not mad," he greeted, hoping the rather sarcastic tone didn't really hide his sincerity. Was he mad that Armin ditched him for a romp with Erwin? Not at all- he had a more on his plate to worry about then something so stupid. It wasn't even hard to find a taxi near Shina. In fact, Eren was fairly certain Erwin made sure taxis were readily available for his less than sober patrons.

"_I take it that means Levi managed to get you home__?_" Erwin asked, his tone so smooth and casual Eren almost refrained from letting his mood become a bit more bitter.

_Almost. _

"Hardly. I sent him on his way not five minutes after you and Armin hit the bar," Eren sneered. Sure, he had stretched the truth a bit, it had been Levi's idea to float away, but that had been due to his disinterest in the man anyway.

Eren assumed the silence on the line was out of shock more than anything, but he waited patiently while throwing random Friskies cans into his cart.

"_He's going to be insufferable to work with now_," Erwin muttered suddenly, the frustration in his voice apparent. "_Levi does not handle rejection well_."_  
><em>

Eren frowned. "He didn't seem all that heartbroken last night. He was walking out with another guy five minutes later," he corrected. Did Erwin just not know his boss very well or was it Eren himself that just wasn't worth it?

He hoped it was a latter. Even if he didn't much like Levi's attitude, the status of being the only one who didn't wound the shrimp's ego stung.

Erwin's laugh crushed both options. "_He's good at hiding it, Eren. I guarantee you the man he caught last night is going to be out of commission for the next week or two._"

"Not my problem," Eren said with a slight shrug. "Look, I have to find some food for Rogue that won't piss him off and figure out what to do about my ex. And tell Armin I'm not mad at him."

The distracted agreement and goodbye Erwin threw at him suggested Armin wouldn't be hearing his assured words, nor would he be worrying about it anymore.

Eren turned back to the Friskies without another thought on the matter. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could call Marco and lose his shit... Or at least plant a seed of doubt in the brunette's mind. Eren thought it would be only natural that you'd feel suspicious if your new boyfriend still had the key to his ex boyfriend's house.

Even after being told _explicitly _to leave it on the coffee table.

Lost and angry in his own thoughts, Eren didn't notice anyone come up behind him until he was snapped at.

"If you're not buying any of this shit get out of the way."

Startled, Eren moved quickly but offered no apology. He'd never forget Levi's voice, and he was frustrated enough after having to run into him twice now. He also noted that while he shopped _a lot _at this particular grocery store, he had never seen Levi before.

"Stalking me now?" Eren jeered, though he hoped he'd have enough time to study Levi before he was graced with a glare. He really was a walking contradiction; edgy and indifferent, yet looking closer he was totally in check with himself and spotless. His makeup and hair were just as simple and flawless as the night before, but now he seemed to be covering up as much skin as he possibly could.

He wore a simple black turtleneck despite how nice it was outside, matching jeans, and combat boots that stopped mid calf. The strangest thing, Eren noted, were the leather gloves.

"You're flattering yourself again," Levi chided with a curious sidelong glance as his gloved fingers skimmed over the cans.

Eren was ready to retort but Levi cut him off by simply grabbing can after can and dropping them into his basket. Five quickly turned into twenty before he paused and threw Eren an exasperated look.

"I... I didn't peg you for a cat guy..." Eren mumbled.

"I'm not," the smaller man sneered before adding another several cans into his basket.

"Are you telling me that stuff is for _you_?" Eren asked, horrified at the mere thought. Levi returned his look with another exasperated glare and clear confusion.

"I can't tell if your just slow or fucking with me," he snorted before holding up his basket and waving it. "I own a body shop. There's a fucking horde of cats in the back and I'm not gonna let 'em starve or end up in the damn pound," Levi explained as if it had been the most obvious thing in the world.

Eren was too busy trying to process the information to even coherently respond. So he wasn't just a heartless playboy- any man who liked cats, and cared for a horde of strays, was more than okay in Eren's book. After all, feeding a stray was one thing, but feeding a whole group was encouraging the behavior and even inviting more. Not to mention when they started breeding...

"You really aren't a total asshole," Eren mumbled as his brain worked to understand this. It really was a shame, however. Since Levi owned a body shop, and if the tattoos were anything to go by, it meant he was an artist, and Eren's track record with artists had never been good. Law and art just never mixed.

Not that he was even considering Levi as potential boyfriend material, of course. It was just an acknowledgement.

Even Levi seemed to be reconsidering him, however, but with the same appraising run down he had been put through last time. Expecting another advance, Eren glared at the shorter man and tensed as he walked towards him, but instead of a flirtatious comment Levi paused beside him and slid a small card into his back pocket.

"All cats love the salmon dinner- you can't go wrong," Levi mumbled before patting his butt and walking off.

After mechanically throwing in a ton of salmon dinner cans, Eren wondered briefly on the ass pat and the card in his back pocket.

He should probably just go home and throw the card away. If what Erwin said was true, it was definitely best not to get involved with Levi, and his cockiness would definitely become an annoyance in the long run.

Besides, Levi would get over Eren's denial in the next day or so.

* * *

><p>Levi was never going to get over that green eyed, sun kissed, son of a bitch. With a frustrated growl at the thought, he dumped another smelly, slimy, <em>filthy <em>can of cat food into an equally filthy food bowl. He needed to clean those soon, but he never had the time.

"Still sulking, _boss man_?" Auruo snorted as he walked buy with a shipment of ink. If he hadn't been carrying it, Levi would have tripped the bastard. Instead he threw a scoop of the cat slop at the man and sneered.

"Clean it up," he snapped before grabbing four bowls and heading out back. "And cancel the rest of my appointments, I'm done for the day." Irritation didn't mix with tattooing, mistakes were too easily made, and he'd never pierce anyone's skin in a bad mood; nerves were so easy to hit.

If he had had a scarification appointment today he would have shut the entire place down.

Unlike most of the buildings in LA, Levi had found one building isolated for the most part, and there was unfortunately plenty of room for a ton of strays to make a little city. What would have been a nice view of the ocean and some scraggly bushes was now a literal "cat city"- kids came buy and left cat houses, or cardboard boxes with holes cut randomly into them, and litter boxes. Some had left food until Levi had started doing it himself.

Levi didn't understand the point, but the fact that litter boxes were actually there simply pissed him off. It was as if these kids were trying to get on his nerves; just leaving a filthy box out made him want to ritualistically clean it.

And so he did. He'd had to postpone some appointments just to clean the damn things.

"Auruo told me you threw cat food at him..."

Levi pointedly ignored Petra as he began placing the food bowls in their designated areas. Some cats toddled out of their makeshift houses or bushes, while other's peered warily at him and waited patiently for him to leave. He wasn't offended by any means, he was glad those cats stayed back- he didn't want another trip to the hospital because of a feral animal again.

"Levi, stop pouting," Petra chided, the laughter in her voice almost painful. "You have a full house today, we can't just let you take off because of a rejection."

He hated how well Petra knew him.

"I'm taking off because I don't feel well," he snapped, stretching as he stood from his crouch. A kitten wound its way around his ankles as he did, crying anxiously as he withheld the last bowl. With a murmured apology, he set it down and turned to his assistant. "I don't get rejected, Petra. I believe I got laid last night, too," he spat as he started back for the building.

"Nice try. Hanji called me and told me what happened, and she heard it from Erwin-"

"Hanji exaggerates," Levi interrupted simply. Unperturbed, Petra kept his pace and even stopped him from opening the back door by blocking his way and glaring.

"You can't take the day off, Levi. You're thirty years old, act like it."

"Unfortunately, I can and I will. I have to clean up after the pig I brought home," he snapped, bristling at the reminder of his age. And at having to acknowledge the desperate slut he'd taken home last night. Normal and very attractive at the club, but once naked his requests were downright disgusting and time consuming, yet Levi had ended up giving into them. His mood seemed to have pleased his partner, so much that he was probably still in his condo as Petra stalled him.

"You said the same thing last week," Petra chided but didn't deny him entrance any longer. She continued to hound him as he washed his hands and arms, then shrugged into his coat and grabbed his keys.

"It's not my fault they like the sex," Levi muttered, grimacing as he thought back on his previous conquests. He really didn't understand it; some were okay with one night stands, but then they spent the night and they wanted to stay.

At least, they stayed until they figured out his eccentric habits.

Hooking an antibacterial mask over his mouth, Levi glared his goodbye and set out to deal with the pain in his ass.

Going to the grocery store for cat food on a work day had turned out to be far too risky, he decided. It was one thing to stay in one controlled environment all day, then go home to another, but it was another thing entirely to hit a germ infested grocery store. He had pushed himself way too far, and now looked forward to a shower and a thorough cleaning after he chased his one night stand out.

Levi shuddered at the inevitable block to his cleaning. He'd have to chase the guy out of bed, then have the argument as he changed the sheets, and maybe even when he started cleaning them, too. And that was a distraction that could cause him to overlook something.

Storming into his own home and into the bedroom had proved him right. The small man from the previous night was dozing soundly in his bed, and even had the nerve to smile when he slowly came to and noticed Levi.

"Get out," he snapped while pointing to the bedroom door. There it was; that smooth transition from contentment to confusion to disbelief. Levi had it memorized. Already having this entire situation down pat, he beat the other man to it, "I never gave you any reason to believe this would be more than a one night stand."

The man looked utterly shocked as he sat up. "You wore _three_ _condoms_ last night! I thought-"

"You thought wrong," Levi growled but offered no explanation to his habit. Not only had he worn three condoms, he had a pair of gloves you find in hair dye boxes to make prepping cleaner. Kissing was fine as long as it lasted no longer than five seconds, and he'd still need five more before he went in for another. "I want you out. There's no point in staying with a man who's not interested."

The other man was furious, but offered no words as he angrily threw himself about the room getting dressed. It was hysterically ridiculous watching him; his movements were sporadic and set with such purpose it made him look more like a fish out of water than anything.

As soon as the condo's door slammed, Levi threw himself into cleaning the room and trying to keep his mind off of Eren. It didn't do him any good, though. Those green eyes had made themselves a permanent residence in Levi's head, and the boy himself was constantly changing.

He was an open book and impulsive, if his rather rude questions and statements were anything to go by. He didn't have a filter, and Levi liked that.

The absolute _need _to tattoo the boy himself... Levi really liked that too. Eren was a canvas that he'd never stumbled across before, someone he needed to work on so badly it almost hurt.

_No, not tattoo_, Levi corrected himself as he pulled out some Pledge and a washcloth and set himself to the headboard of his bed. _Scarify. _Never before had Levi ever wanted to scarify someone, and he only did it because, well, he was good at it and it brought in much more money than a regular tattoo.

There was something inside of Eren that needed to come out, to be shown to the world, and as picky as he was about tattooing and piercing people... This new emotion was almost welcome, but only if he could get rid of it as soon as possible.

Which, of course, meant convincing Eren to let go of his demons, whatever they may be. And, hopefully, getting him naked later on. Levi very explicitly wanted to sleep with him, then pull out a sharpie and draw on him for days on end in that order. A body like Eren's, so simple and overlooked yet painfully untouched, almost seemed to have Levi's name tattooed on it already.

Levi wouldn't stand to let this one slip away, not when he had the ability to be a walking _disasterpiece_. And Levi _knew _he was the only one who could bring it out of the brunet.


	4. Chapter 4: Coincidences

Eren was conflicted and fuming by the time he made it into work the next morning. He had hoped dealing with Levi would have been easier if Rogue had hated the salmon dinner, but unfortunately Rogue had dug into the meal wholeheartedly and demanded more with aggressive advances. Previously believing that Levi had just been trying to screw him over, Eren tried to brush it off as a fluke.

Which hadn't helped his mood, especially when he had tried reaching Jean but hadn't gotten an answer.

"I'm killing them both..." he grumbled as he shoved some folders into his desk and threw a pen at Armin. He'd been meaning to do that since he had walked into the department; Armin looked blissfully happy and content, a sure sign of being sexually satisfied in a budding, solid, relationship.

Sure enough, he hardly looked upset when the pen made contact.

"Did you know he's an _artist_?" Eren snapped after Armin spun around in his chair and made eye contact.

Armin smiled when he caught onto the subject. "You must have a thing for artists."

"Business men are boring," Eren conceded with a frown.

"Artists are horny."

"_Men _are horny."

"True enough," Armin agreed with an uncharacteristically sly grin.

Eren gave up with a groan. He hated when Armin was sensible, but he was also relieved Armin offered no false assurances.

"I'm a relationship slut aren't I?" he asked while picking at his nails.

Reiner and Connie let out a whoop and he was fairly certain Bertl snorted a "finally."

"I wouldn't say that," Mikasa scolded as she settled on his desk. "You've only been with one person this year."

Facing Mikasa, Eren didn't have the courage to prove her wrong and say he was already eyeing another poor decision.

When Reiner walked by he slapped Mikasa on the back and let out a boisterous laugh, ignoring the dark glare she set on him as he did. "Don't deter him, Mikasa! He gives this office drama."

"Thanks, man," Eren sneered. "Don't you have a cat to save?" His remark was a dismissal Reiner took in stride.

"Are you really going to take a break this time, Eren?" Mikasa asked as soon as the blond had returned to his side of the office. Her glare was on him for a few more moments before she was able to tear it away and fix a lighter one on Eren.

"O-of course. It's not like I can get over a guy in three days," he snorted, trying his hardest not to avoid her steely gaze or tug on his ears. Lying had never been an easy feat for Eren and Mikasa made it especially hard. Yet, surprisingly enough, he made it by this time... Or, rather, he made it without too much of a lecture before Mikasa gave up and placed a car key in his hand.

"Nile got a call a few minutes ago, he wants us out," she started. "Breaking and entering, property damage, and an owner that apparently needs to be contained. His response was a little unusual."

Excitement chased away the rest of Eren's foul mood, and with a grin he grabbed the keys to the patrol car.

* * *

><p>"Permission to speed?"<p>

"Permission granted."

With a snort he flicked on the sirens and shot out onto the freeway. The heady rush of power that granted made Mikasa and Eren both laugh over classic cop songs and the sight of cars hurrying to get out of their way. The fact that he did this at all was the reason Mikasa was usually his babysitter when they went out, but Eren had suspected Reiner and Connie did it, too.

They were just better in action, he guessed. Nile had said he was a bit too aggressive and emotional, which was usually why cat cases and B and E's were assigned to him. Actual criminals weren't involved, and most of the time he'd spend it trying to calm down stressed victims.

"So we've got a vic that needs to be _contained_?" Eren asked while looking for their exit. Wherever this guy lived, he was pretty isolated.

"Nile was warned by the girl on the line that he's "covered in blood" and "wielding a scalpel." Whether he actually attacked the intruder is still up in the air, but I guess she spilled so we don't freak out and pull a gun on him," Mikasa explained with a shrug.

"Tazer, you mean. If I can't use a gun you're not allowed to either," Eren teased, ignoring the amused roll of her eyes and settling down as she directed him. "It's a B and E, Mikasa. What could go wrong?"

He found out ten minutes later that _everything _could go wrong. Already standing outside of the _tattoo parlor _the crime had apparently taken place at, was Levi. Covered in blood had been no exaggeration either; latex gloves protected his hands, but something must have gone wrong for the blood to spread to his elbows. Streaks also covered his neck, but that had probably been a nervous action- rubbing his neck or even running his fingers through his hair, if the dried streaks throughout it were anything to go by.

The look on his face did him in, however. The second Eren had put the car in park, Mikasa was out and had her gun trained on him, telling him to put his hands up.

"_Shit_..."

Levi did nothing to ease her apparent suspicion, leaving it up to Eren to hurry to his sister's side and try to do it for him.

"Mikasa, stop. It's a body shop that specializes in scarification, he was probably in the middle of an appointment," he mumbled as he put his hand on her arm. The gun came down after a moment, but Levi kept coming.

"It fucking took you long enough!" he burst. Furious was one word Eren was sure didn't cover the way Levi felt, but he was too relieved the shorter man was doing an amazing job at not recognizing him. "Your incompetent timing resulted in a poor man getting an erect cock tattooed on his neck," he sneered, but the anger was replaced with smug satisfaction.

All sense of professionally ignoring how they met faded, and Eren hissed, "_Levi_! You could get _sued_! And I'm pretty sure that's something that could get your license revoked!"

Levi recognized him then, if the surprise on his face was anything to go by. After that had registered, he eyed Eren with consideration and thoughtfully flipped the ring in his lip.

"You look good in uniform," he praised, so serious it threw Eren for a loop.

"You two know each other?" Mikasa asked, her shock and horror blatant.

"More or less," Eren mumbled while Levi sneered, "Not as much as I'd like to."

Forgetting about the problem at hand entirely, Eren stared at the man, dumbfounded and amazed.

"I'll find out later," Mikasa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as if she were fighting a headache. "Right now, we need information."

Levi shot her a fierce glare, one that equaled the worst of her own. "Of course, _officer_," he all but growled. "Some jackass broke into storage and tried bailing with a few dozen boxes of ink and needles. Now, I'm a pretentious fucking prick so that's _a lot _of money going down the drain. Spilled a few hundred bottles of ink- cost me hundreds of dollars in the process."_  
><em>

Mikasa took his attitude in stride, as expected, and countered, "So where does _this _come in?" she pressed while gesturing to Levi's appearance.

"I was in the middle of scarifying," he replied easily. No fear, no hesitation.

Eren was impressed. Even people who weren't in the wrong acted as if they had shot a puppy when Mikasa honed in on them.

"Are you licensed?"

Levi looked appalled, even offended. "The fuck kind of question is that? Best in California, Ms. Bitch. I wouldn't get very far without a damn license," he nearly growled, bristling like Rogue did when Eren watched his soap operas.

The comparison made Eren smother a chuckle with his hand. The exchange was far from worrying, it was hilarious, but he had a freshly tattooed 'criminal' to see to.

"Levi, what about the guy who broke in?" he asked, trying to steer them both on topic. And Mikasa away from the bitch comment.

"Knocked out, tied up, and freshly tattooed," Levi grumbled, never taking his eyes off of Mikasa and even throwing the bloody gloves at her feet. "I'm fucking filthy. Feel free to look around, I've gotta clean up and get a client sterilized and stable."

With that, Levi turned on his heel and headed back towards the unimpressive brick building. Eren caught Mikasa's arm as he started after him.

"I'll stick with Levi. You check the area, get the guy in the car maybe," he mumbled then glared when she opened her mouth to protest. "I know Levi, Mikasa. And I won't piss him off, you stick with what you do best and I'll help Levi with his client. Your emotionally unstable people skills are in the negatives," he added.

"We're talking later, Eren," she warned him as the set off.

"There's nothing to talk about."

There was a lot to talk about, but Mikasa wasn't going to hear any of it, he decided. Armin would simply because he wouldn't interrogate him, but Mikasa always went "bad cop" when it came to guys.

Eren had to admit she was a better dad than their own in that way... Among others.

With a huff Eren set his mind to the matter at hand and nearly stomped his way into the building. It was fairly simple, the same as any body shop, he assumed. Both beautiful and grotesque art hung from the walls, and portfolios were lined up on the front desk. Dark and Gothic until it reached a singular hall where Eren guessed the artists and piercers worked.

That was when everything went one hundred and ten percent sterile.

"Jesus..." Mikasa breathed, her eyes trained on the body Eren had overlooked.

Sure enough, a young man- no more than nineteen at best- lay hog tied and out cold. Eren gave the dick on his throat credit- it was an impressive piece of art, though hasty as it was and no doubt done out of anger. The skin around it was red and puffy, and the ink was fresh.

"He's crazy..." Mikasa murmured as she gathered the slender man and started easily towards the door.

Shoving a hand through his hair, Eren started towards the sterile hallway. He noticed distantly that it smelled like lemon pledge and bleach, though a heavier, more sinister, smell hit him as he continued on. Definitely burned skin and blood.

He had to give Levi credit- if this was what his job entailed every day he'd be a little pissy, too. And stumbling across Levi in his element gave him that much more respect.

In a rather small room, totally devoid of any decorations, a man was screaming into a shirt. Levi stood between Eren and what was probably the worst thing he'd ever see, spraying the chest down and softly wiping at edges of what could only be the interrupted results of the appointment.

Eren stayed by the door, torn between offering help and just hoping Levi could fix everything himself. If he screwed up trying, he had no doubt that'd he'd be in the hospital with a scalpel lodged in his stomach. Or a bottle of disinfectant up his ass. He was perfectly content safely watching Levi work around his client, his concentration itself admirable.

It was as if nothing else in the world existed to the other man, his entire focus was on the bloody mess of a chest. Which, as he shifted to start on a new area, Eren got full view of. Horrifying at best, he couldn't even discern a shape from the grafted and burned skin, and _why _anyone would want to do that was beyond him.

"Shit..." he muttered despite himself, though Levi hardly even spared him a glance.

"Damn right. It's always nasty unfinished," he grumbled instead while spraying the new section of skin liberally. A ragged scream the shirt couldn't even muffle escaped his client as a result. "Not deep enough to make the design yet..." he added softly before bandaging the wounds and kneeling down so he was eye level with the nearly crying man. "I'm not finishing it. Let it heal, it'll scar for a few weeks, maybe months if you're unlucky. Go to a hospital. Get it checked again if it gets infected, and if you have any expenses at all, I'll cover them."

Eren was surprised by the pissy and unsympathetic tone, but the man sniffled and nodded. Levi helped with his shirt, muttered a "don't worry about paying" and sent him on his way. He nearly collapsed in the only chair by the table afterwards, tearing a face mask off once he had settled.

"Fucking hate that," he grumbled while rubbing his face wearily, almost angrily. Practically leering at Eren, he drawled, "Turned you off of the idea didn't it?"

"Never been attracted to it anyways," Eren admitted with a halfhearted shrug. Tattoos, piercings, none of it appealed to him. Some people, like Levi, could pull it off, but people like him couldn't. He was the type of person who would get a smiley face tattooed on his ass, only if he was completely wasted, then never speak of it again.

Not that he had ever done that, of course.

"I don't blame you," Levi agreed after a moment of contemplation. "It's disgusting and messy. I can't stand sharing space, yet here I am rolling around in their blood."

A little dramatic, Eren noted, but he asked nonetheless, "Then why do you do it?"

"Because I'm good at it, and it costs a lot. It's not like I tattoo or rip into just anyone though," he answered with a sincere but fleeting glance. A moment later he was looking again however, staring at Eren with a rather critical eye. "Did you look Soul to Skin up last night?" he asked.

Eren shrugged. He hadn't wanted to, but after Rogue's fourth meal he had given into temptation. To say he was impressed was an understatement- Levi had appointments set for the end of the year, and it was a strict process to earn one.

Smirking, Levi pressed, "Then you know there's stages. You have to call in, show up, interview... There's a background check, I don't do criminals."

"Well..." Eren snorted, eyeing the shorter man doubtfully. "I bet there's someone with a new dick on his throat that'd like to argue that statement."

"_He_ was not a potential client," Levi argued with a fierce glare.

"Whatever floats your boat," Eren hummed, rolling his eyes at the childish denial. "You put an awful lot of effort into it." That, Eren decided, would be as close to a compliment as he would get for Levi. Feeding the already massive ego didn't strike him as appealing, but he'd give credit when credit was due.

"I'm not going to half ass a dick," Levi snorted before shaking his head a bit and smirking. "You know, we'll keep meeting like this 'til you let me take you out."

Eren noted that he had said _out _instead of _home _this time. Though, if the change was intended or not, he didn't know. He _may_ have been hoping for the latter, however- maybe Levi was actually interested, but would it continue if he gave in?

"Are you saying that's a fact?" Eren asked, trying for nonchalant though not entirely sure how well he pulled it off. The last thing he wanted was for Levi to know he was even a bit interested. "Careful, Levi. I might think you're stalking me with anymore run ins. And you're not supposed to fuck with cops."

He realized a bit too late that he could have worded his last comment better. Levi snapped into focus quickly, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"But I hear cops are the best," he nearly purred.

"Not this one," Eren snapped dryly, glaring at the other man until the grin faltered and he shrugged an apology.

"We're clearly not getting anywhere, so-"

"_You're _not getting anywhere," Eren corrected, but Levi ultimately ignored him save a pointed glare.

"If I accept the fact that you're not a fuck after the first date kind of guy, could I take you out?" He flipped the silver hoop in his lip, an action Eren still hadn't figured out yet. It could be either a nervous tic or a thoughtful habit, maybe even both, and the fact that Eren couldn't figure it out was infuriating.

Swallowing the correction that he wasn't a fuck after _any_ date kind of guy, Eren gave a noncommittal shrug and looked away. The same thing that had called him to Jean seemed to be in Levi... Maybe he could get at least six months out of Levi, or three if he was being realistic. Though he was sure the only reason Jean had lasted so long was because he had already known before jumping in, Eren still somewhat hoped.

Four days without Jean and the apartment was nearly unbearable, Eren couldn't _stand _it. Maybe just going out sometimes with Levi, nothing serious or promising, would keep him out of the apartment long enough to curb that loneliness. He knew he could pull of flirty, he could tease like none other... Eren could make it work.

After he heard Mikasa calling for them, he looked back at Levi warily, taking note of the already triumphant smirk. "I'll think about it," he answered before turning on his heel and hurrying back to the front room. Levi took his time in following, much to Mikasa's chagrin, with his smirk only slightly subdued.

It was obvious enough for Mikasa to throw Eren a chiding glare, however.

"He's awake and having a panic attack in the car," she explained softly, which only furthered Levi's amusement, then began a horribly professional and detailed explanation of what she noted and what Levi could do.

Eren learned quickly that Levi didn't care much for environmental analyses, he just wanted to know who was going to replace the damaged ink. And if he was going to keep his license. After assuring him both would be handled easily and favorably, they said their goodbyes and Mikasa practically carried Eren out of the building.

"Before we get into the car and have an insane man on our hands, I want you to know I don't agree with what you're going to do," she said as they made their way to the patrol car. "I don't like Levi and I don't want you seeing him."

Eren snorted and ruffled her hair. "It's a good thing I'm not thirteen and you're not my mom, then, huh?" he teased, then tossed Mikasa the keys and made for the passengers side. He was awful at driving when someone was in the back, screaming and thrashing which was exactly what the young man in there was doing. "If it makes you feel any better, it won't be serious. We'll just hangout, the apartment's kind of shitty when I'm by myself."

"You have friends, Eren," Mikasa argued softly, her concern and worry almost palpable. "You know Reiner has party nights on Fridays. Why don't you come with us?"

Eren rolled his eyes. "Because party nights are loud and obnoxious. I can't just hangout with a single guy? And _don't _say Armin, he's a taken, happy, man now. I need to let him go, and as hard as it is watching him leave the nest, I'm glad he's getting laid," he countered lightly and with a smile he felt was far too forced to be convincing.

"Eren..."

"Let's get this guy back to the station. Lord knows we'll have some convincing to do about the "erect genitalia" on his neck," Eren snorted, eliciting a small smile from Mikasa as he opened the car door.

Her response was drowned out by the enraged curses now flowing freely from the cab, but it hardly mattered. Successfully distracting Mikasa from a touchy subject was celebration enough, all he had to do was smile and laugh to keep it up.


	5. Chapter 5: So Cynical

Before Eren had even dared to call Levi, he had called Armin and ordered him over with a note to bring alcohol. This had been a week later, of course, as Eren knew making Levi wait would result in more positive responses. Eren preferred to call it "not playing desperate," but Sasha had been die hard on, "Playing hard to get."

Nobody played either game better than Eren.

But nerves had Eren desiring support and company, yet he should have known Armin would have brought wine instead of something harder. He had been hoping tequila, but Armin hated when he had tequila.

"Wine is for soap operas," he grumbled after allowing a smiling and triumphant blond into the apartment. Armin simply held two bottles of wine above his head.

"I figured you were well stocked anyways, and at least one of these will give you the balls to call Levi," Armin explained as he slumped onto the couch and waved for Eren to follow.

Something told Eren his friend had already had a few glasses himself, and he figured a week of separation meant a night of catching up.

"Don't bother with glasses," Armin said when he started towards the kitchen. An unusual demand coming from him, but Eren happily complied. If they were going to be running through the entire bottle anyway, there wasn't a point in drinking from glasses, and Eren wasn't in the mood for class.

"We're starting with your baggage," he warned, ignoring the huff of protest, then took a bottle of wine and uncorked it. Eren took a gulp, winced, then put it down and made the decision that wine really only tasted good when watching Spanish soap operas.

Armin eagerly accepted his decision though and quickly scooted closer, even grabbing the heavy blanket on the back of the couch to smother them with.

"He's so sweet, Eren," the blond practically swooned, frowning when he reached for the bottle. "I'm feeling classy now- why didn't you get glasses?"

"You told me not to?" Eren offered, smirking when his friend fumbled to get a sip. He even went as far to stick his pinky out, wiggling it to get his point across.

"So sweet and _so _hot. His bicep is, like, the size of my head," Armin gushed, blue eyes wide as he stared at Eren and frantically gestured with his hands. "And the _things _he can do with his tongue-"

Placing his hand over Armin's mouth, he shushed the poor boy and eyed him somberly. "How many drinks have you had?"

His brow furrowed and Eren could feel the frown against his palm. He waited patiently for Armin to hold up six unsure fingers.

"Of what?"

Armin grinned before shaking his head away and mumbling, "_Not_ tequila."

"Bitch!" Eren snapped, then grabbed the wine and took a few hearty gulps. He could not have _Armin Arlert_ beating him in intoxication. "Okay, real talk. Not sex talk, real talk-"

"Sex talk is real talk, Eren."

"Not in this apartment," he argued before continuing on. "Has he taken you on any dates since you hooked up?"

Armin shook his head eagerly. "We went down to Venice this morning," he answered, then gasped and shot an arm out to steady himself against Eren. Leaning close, he whispered, "I got a piercing..."

"Oh my god... Please tell me it's not your dick."

"It's not on my _genitalia_, you prude," Armin assured him with a frown. Eren didn't bother to correct him. A second later he was tugging his shirt up and wiggling. A short silver chain hung from his belly button.

Eren was simply amazed. "I'm gonna kick his ass... I can't trust a thirty-two year old man with my best friend, he's corrupting you," he mumbled, staring at the jewelry in astonishment. Armin simply huffed and jerked his shirt back down, then curled up under the blanket and glared at him.

"What about you? You and the _tattoo_ _artist_? Who also _pierces_?" he asked. "You date a guy like that and you'll be coming home with more than a chain in your belly button..."

"I'm not buzzed enough to call him yet." Eren shrugged, but had Armin pinning him to the couch and digging through his pockets a second later.

"Where is it?" the blond demanded when his search yielded no rewards. His eyes flicked around the room before landing on Eren's cell at the small table cutting the kitchen off from the living room.

He made it to the phone before Eren did.

"Sit down!" he snapped, holding the phone above his head as if that would make it harder for Eren to reach.

Eren, while none too pleased by this turn of events, sat back down and waited for Armin to join him. He figured it was easier this way, at least sober he'd be able to shut Armin up if he got loose lipped. Deep down, he kind of wanted it this way. One more thing to get off his shoulders.

"Whoa, Eren, you've called Jean eighteen times today?" Armin snorted, scrolling through the recent calls with an arched brow. "I'm the only person you've called who isn't Jean in the past week," he noted.

"Jean has the spare key..." Eren explained softly. His calls had in no way resulted from a desire to see or hear Jean's voice, he just wanted the spare key back. Getting the key back was free, changing the locks wasn't.

_Right?_

"Riiight..." Armin hummed with a doubtful arch of his brow. He turned his attention back to the phone quickly though, relieving Eren of any unwanted interrogation, and smirked when he found Levi's number. "How many times have you looked at this number and contemplated calling it?"

"_Not _every day," Eren retorted with a glare. Armin turned the phone towards him instead of snapping back, and practically punched the call and speaker phone button with his finger. The pointed look on his face dared Eren to fight him, which Eren considered doing when Levi picked up the phone with a snarled demand.

Armin dived right in with abandon only tequila could give him.

"Hi, um, hello, Levi, right?"

"I swear to God if you're-"

"I'm Eren's friend. Eren Yeager? You know, sun kissed brunette with eyes that most claim cause erections until-"

"Armin!" Eren exclaimed while stretching out to kick his reckless friend.

He buried his head in his hands when they were met with only the static buzz of the line. Then, after what felt like ages, there was a thump, a yelp, and a muffled order. Eren and Armin both stared at the phone as if it had grown wings until Levi's voice, now smooth and as friendly as he could be, came from it.

"You're Erwin's brat, right?" he asked.

Armin wasn't the least bit perturbed by the name, he just blushed a bit and smiled. "He talks about me?"

"Unfortunately..." Levi grumbled, then quickly changed the subject before Armin could jump headfirst into it. "Did I hear Eren?"

When Eren himself opened his mouth to interject, Armin shushed him and said, "Nope. He's unable to speak at the moment..." Giggling interrupted his speech, but he plowed on after managing to stifle it. "He wanted to know if you were free Saturday night."

Eren cursed his friend- that only gave him a day to mentally and physically prepare for a date.

Levi sounded rather amused when he replied. "You tell Eren to meet me outside of Rose at eight o'clock. Tell him to dress light- nothing too complicated."

Armin's smile dropped and he eyed Eren curiously before muttering, "Hold please," and shoving the phone under the couch cushion. "You haven't told him?" he hissed.

Eren blushed and shrugged. "Never really came up..." he said. Of course, it had come up plenty of times, but what were the chances he'd be meeting Levi at Rose tomorrow night if he had taken that chance?

"Eren! You can't keep starting relationships like this!" Armin exclaimed, though kept his voice low in case Levi would be able to make anything out from under his butt. With a glare, he pulled the phone out again and said, "Eren has informed me he'll be dressing _off limits_ tomorrow night. Doesn't want to make things too easy."

_Smooth and somewhat slutty_, Eren admired silently with an appreciative nod.

"You can _inform _Eren that I did acknowledge he wasn't a fuck after the first date kind of guy-"

"No chances, huh?" Armin hissed, though Levi continued on, his receiver having not picked up the soft words.

"-and I'm a big boy who can keep his hands to himself. Easily. So, Eren can dress lightly and leave the cop mentality at home- I don't like the idea of being arrested by my date."

Armin's grin was back, excited if not a bit worried. "Done and done," he said before ending the call then throwing the phone to the floor, much to Eren's put on dismay. "You didn't tell him?" he burst, eyes wide with disbelief.

Eren was surprised _Armin _was so surprised. There was only one occurrence in Eren's dating history that didn't include having to hide his sexuality, and that was with Jean.

"No..."

"And, let me guess, you're going to tease him?" Armin snapped, his words nearly cutting. Eren's flinch and apparent focus on the ceiling was his answer. "You're going to lead him on? And then you're going to drop the bomb when you're both naked and one of you is hard as a rock?"

Eren cringed. "I like you better when you haven't had alcohol," he stated softly. Armin let out an incredulous snort.

"Eren, you'd have a better chance if you just let him know right off the bat," the blond pressed, softer now and even pleading. "You and Jean lasted six months and he knew. Other guys managed, what? Three weeks? A month?"

"Dieter lasted two months..." Eren argued weakly, ignoring the nearly victorious look Armin developed at having more leverage.

"And _why _did he last that long?" he asked, clearly frustrated and exasperated. "Because you were blowing him!" Armin exclaimed.

Eren crinkled his nose at the memory. When you were on a strict date once a every week or two basis, it was easy to ignore what he was doing- Dieter had never lasted very long anyways.

"I'm going home, Eren," Armin announced wearily as he stood. Placing a hand on his friend's shoulder, he squeezed and added, "The second this relationship fails, or Levi does something to hurt you, you know Mikasa and me will be ready to kick butt, though, right?" Eren nodded, touched by his friend's unnecessary loyalty. Even when he was at fault they'd still stand by him.

The second the apartment door shut, Rogue dropped from the hallway's doorway and bolted towards his food bowl, puffed up and intent. Eren laughed when the kitten slid into them, unable to find traction on the wooden floors.

"I need a guy like you, Rogue," he stated as he pushed himself to his feet and made for the salmon dinners his cat was currently ready to kill over. "Someone who'll love me 'cause I feed 'em..." Eren sighed.

Rogue yowled when he scooped the nasty cat food into his bowl, then promptly began to purr and dig in.

Eren left the spazz to his meal so he could prepare for his own unfortunate date. It'd probably be their first and their last, if his own luck and Levi's subtle insistence were anything to go by.

* * *

><p>Eren was late. So fucking late, Levi was ready to snap the neck of the next guy who recognized him. Maybe, in retrospect, meeting at Rose wasn't the best idea, Levi admitted to himself. More than half of his regular's knew him on a more personal level, another fault on his part. Then again, how was <em>he <em>supposed to know who was regular or not when he only showed up as boss once every blue moon?

That was Erwin's job, and the bastard never warned him when he set his sights on someone.

With a sigh, Levi pushed away from the bar and made his way to the exit. If he didn't run into Eren on the way out, he'd leave. He hadn't felt comfortable with the call last night anyway- the giggling and snorting, and the muffled conversation he had missed out on, didn't set right with him. It all made sense if he thought in terms of being stood up.

This, however, was not his first time being stood up, and it certainly wouldn't be his last, he acknowledged as he slid on a disposable face mask and leather gloves.

A hand on his arm stopped Levi just feet from the exit- he nearly killed the bastard until he realized who it was. If there was one man who could get away with touching him before any mental preparations were made, it was this one.

"Farlan?" He schooled his features, and made sure to be a bit wary when he was met with a sly grin. Surprise wouldn't do him any good in a situation like this.

"Still out on the prowl, Levi?" Farlan asked, tilting his head curiously then gesturing to the face mask and gloves. "Still stuck in your habits?"

Levi remembered suddenly _why _Farlan was a steady ex, and not a go-to. He had lasted long enough, Levi understood that. Six months, and Farlan held that record while other's only managed a few times a year if they were "lucky."

The relationship had ended on a sour note after Farlan had moved in. Levi didn't like sharing space. Trusting someone to meet his requirements was even harder.

"Always on the prowl, and you know they're not habits," Levi snapped, putting a few more inches of space between them. His skin was beginning to crawl, he could practically feel the germs all over his arms, and he wanted _out_. Grey eyes followed his movements, and concern briefly flashed across Farlan's face, another thing Levi didn't need.

"Right, right, _precautions_, I mean," Farlan drawled.

If he wasn't careful he'd panic, and he _couldn't _let Farlan know that still happened._  
><em>

His ex was quick to distract him, however. "How's the shop been? I've been meaning to make an appointment for Isabel sometime..." he tried, awkward at best but no less trying to make the effort.

Levi wasn't in the mood.

"Fucking great. Couldn't get you in even if I wanted you," he answered, unable to enjoy how his words made Farlan flinch.

"Levi, listen-"

Levi nearly screamed and decked the next guy who touched him, someone who came up beside him and wrapped his hands around his bicep. An action that was casual but one that set claim to him- he hated it until the guy spoke.

"Sorry I'm late... The cats were a bit time consuming."

He would have kissed the brat if he hadn't been so desperate to get out of the club.

The look on Farlan's face was priceless; confusion and surprise, maybe even a bit of anger, all mixed together.

"You're... with someone...?" Farlan managed.

_Apparently_, Levi thought, but shrugged in response. "Still on the prowl, your words."

Farlan chewed on his lip, as if he wanted to argue, then put his hands up and smiled softly. "I'll see you around, Levi."

Farlan had always known when to give up, and Levi admired it in this case. He was a bit pushy in relationships, and Farlan had gone along with him easily enough, with minimal resistance... He hadn't liked that, and Farlan's frustration had built up until he had exploded in the end.

Eren was leading him out of Rose before he could even process the feelings, but he was happy Eren didn't comment about it when they made it outside. He also didn't ask when Levi pulled out a small bottle of germ-x and liberally coated his arms with it, even the gloves, he simply stared before shrugging.

"Is it safe to say we're doing something illegal tonight?" he asked after Levi had pocketed the disinfectant and practically brushed himself off.

It was so much easier to breathe outside, but he wouldn't be able to settle until he was home.

He changed his mind when he finally took note of Eren, who was patiently awaiting his affirmative answer. The brunette wore a simple tank top and cargo shorts, revealing so much skin Levi practically burned, ready to plan and draw.

"Depends on your definition of illegal," Levi answered after a moment. He waited until Eren cast him a wary glare before adding, "You're off duty tonight, _Officer_ _Eren_. I wouldn't be calling your coworkers on yourself," he warned, smirking when the younger boy's glare melted to one of dismay.

"I swear if you-"

"Relax, kid. I've got two businesses and a cat city to keep running, I'm not gonna risk my neck over something stupid like what we're about to do," he snorted, grabbing Eren's wrist as he started off towards the sidewalk.

"And what exactly would that be?"

"Skinny dipping," Levi answered with a confident grin.


	6. Chapter 6: Practice Makes Perfect

A/N- WHOOP been a while huh yes well I got a new computer and it actually is compatible with FF and stuff and so I write

This has been read through once and not nearly satisfactory pour moi but I have five more stories to update so x'3

Please don't forget to leave a comment! :3

* * *

><p>"So... If we're going skinny dipping, and it's eighty-five degrees outside, why exactly are you dressed like you're going to Alaska. And who was that guy at Rose?" Eren asked as they trudged down Venice beach and the silence between them grew too heavy to bear. He wasn't exactly a pro at dating, or going out on dates, but Eren was pretty sure conversation was a must. Levi, however, didn't seem willing to contribute despite being the one who had put out.<p>

Levi shot him a sideways glance before turning his attention back to the mass of people around them. Venice beach on a Friday night, while exciting and certainly entertaining, didn't strike Eren as a great first date. Though he hadn't questioned it yet since Levi looked determined to get somewhere, which was hopefully much less fast paced.

It was certainly better than being wined and dined- that kind of thing didn't suit Levi in the least.

"We're not going skinny dipping, but I wouldn't be opposed if you really wanted to," Levi began after a moment, a smirk gracing his round features.

"No thanks..." Eren murmured.

"And that guy at Rose was an ex," he said, something in his voice finalizing that discussion.

Despite his curiosity, Eren let it go. He had arrived at Rose early to see how Levi reacted to anyone coming onto him, and was relieved to have seen Levi gruffly and easily turning them down. Maybe the guy at the end had been a bit steadier, he had certainly gotten Levi to react more than any other trick. It hadn't been a good reaction though, which was perhaps what set Eren at ease the most.

Nudging the smaller man with his shoulder, Eren asked, "So what are we doing?"

"There's a taco stand up the beach, worst fucking chicken tacos in the world but awesome shark tacos," Levi answered, smirking when Eren grimaced.

"Shark? You've gotta be kidding me. The only thing illegal about that is the fact that it's shark," Eren countered. He was willing to take his chances on horrible chicken instead.

"The only thing illegal about it is the owner, who doesn't have a license, or validation from the city, and who probably obtains her shark meat illegally," the shorter man argued with a glare, daring Eren to do something about it.

Eren stopped walking and caught Levi by the wrist, fixing a glare of equal defiance onto his date. The whole 'leaving his job behind' thing made since now, but had Levi honestly expected him to overlook something like this? One didn't just lose six years of training overnight, and when it came to food the fact that a beach stand wasn't verified was concerning.

"Levi..."

"I've known the girl who's been working the stand for seven years now, Eren. If you want to call her in, do it on your own time and make sure she doesn't know you're behind it," Levi all but growled. "Half of what she makes is awful, too much experimenting, but she's never made anyone sick, and she's the only one who makes amazing shark tacos in LA."

"So you thought this would be a good first date?" Eren snorted, letting the matter drop in the face of Levi's determination and sincerity. He wouldn't make a scene since the man was clearly trying.

Levi's lips twitched a bit, and he eased off with a smirk. "This isn't it, princess." Shaking free of Eren's hand he started forward again and shoved his hands in his pockets. Eren hurried to follow.

"Did you think that maybe I don't like shark tacos?" he began after Levi had briefly pointed to a crowded taco stand. The woman working the stand was certainly friendly looking, a huge smile on her face and gesturing wildly with her hands. Not many seemed to be eating, just enjoying the atmosphere.

"You've never had them if you don't like them, and if you've never had one you can't say you've ever been to California," Levi sneered before raising two gloved fingers and pushing his way through the crowd.

The second the brunette behind the stand saw him, she screamed, silencing most of the crowd, then began to wave them away. That was when Eren began doubting the quality of those shark tacos and wondering if Levi just liked the special treatment.

He certainly didn't seem to like the hug he was given when the woman jumped out of the stand.

"... came alone? Please tell me you came alone this time, we need to... You didn't come alone..." she was saying, excited until dark eyes landed on Eren as he slid up beside Levi and regarded the two curiously. "Well... He's certainly different from your last conquests," she admitted flatly, before smiling and sticking out her hand. "I'm Hanji."

Eren was more than tempted to ignore the hand and glare at her, she certainly hadn't seemed happy to meet him, but he took the higher rode so to speak. He ignored the hand but gave her his name. "Eren."

Hanji stared at him for what felt like ages before turning to Levi, laughing, and dragging Eren into a bear hug. "I like this one!" she exclaimed, ignoring Levi's halfhearted protests and attempts to pull her away.

"Hanji, two tacos to go," Levi snapped as soon as she turned her attention back to him. "We have plans that extend this shitty stand."

"If only I knew them..." Eren grumbled, quickly catching onto the woman's haphazard energy and smile. He'd rather stay around her than be led into the unknown- for all he knew, Levi could try for one of those 'it was a good date, let's end it with good sex' endings.

Eren liked buffers. He depended on buffers. And while Levi said he'd acknowledge Eren's no fuck on the first date rule, he didn't know Levi was someone who wouldn't attempt to make a pass.

He'd seen enough guys walk up to Levi at Rose in his thirty minutes at a booth to know Levi got around.

The second date depended on two things; Levi's ability to keep his hands to himself, and if both of them would be interested in another.

Hanji seemed to have the same worries as he did, if her curious frown directed to Eren had anything to say.

"Why don't you stick around for a while, Levi. I can probably keep you from fucking up with this one," Hanji said, attempting a lighthearted joke but coming off too serious to pass.

Eren stifled a laugh and smirked when the smaller man turned to glare at him. What Hanji had said had definitely thrown him under the bus, and he seemed to understand that. There wasn't really a great way to respond to something like that without really scaring Eren off.

"We'll stay," he snapped, brushing past Hanji and earning Eren a wink from the woman.

"Just a heads up," she started while pulling him towards the stand. "If he starts drawing on you, he's serious."

Eren nodded, slightly confused but not necessarily put off. Levi was in it to get laid, he was in it to distract himself. He wasn't someone guys like Levi got into.

The tacos, Eren had to admit, weren't bad at all. While the shark meat had initially put him off, Levi literally shoving it into his mouth had really opened his eyes to something wonderful. Hanji kept the conversation going most of the time, spilling embarrassing stories until Levi flicked her glasses into the sand, and Levi seemed to relax as they chatted. Eren had noticed the way he'd been fidgeting prior, eyeing the people around him as if they personally offended him, but Hanji definitely did wonders to his personality.

Levi really wasn't all that bad. He was awkward, absolutely, especially with all the disinfectant and the slight twitch, but that was much better than arrogance and cockiness. Eren actually found it relieving.

It was well after ten o'clock when Levi announced he was going to hail a taxi, then disappeared into the crowd.

"He hates liking you," Hanji chuckled as she dumped their paper plates into a large bag.

Eren snorted as he stood from the small stool and stretched. "He hates the fact that he's not screwing me tonight," he corrected, handing Hanji a ten dollar bill and ignoring her protests.

"Eren, I've known that asshole for seven years now. I think I know when he likes someone, and he hates liking you. Maybe it's because you're a stingy virgin, I don't know. But he does. He doesn't bring people he can't stand to touch out here," she teased, then leaned over the small bar and punched him in the shoulder. "Now get out of here before he takes off without you. He'll do it."

Eren laughed and took off, having no doubts that Levi would do exactly that.

He was smiling by the time he found the other man, though his smile slipped when he noticed Levi aggressively spraying himself down by a cab and switching his gloves with a new pair. And then another on top of those. He topped it off with a surgeons mask and a hat that nearly fell in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Eren asked, confused and worried, as he reached out to place a hand on Levi's shoulder. He jumped when his hand was slapped away and he was glared at.

"Get in," Levi mumbled after opening the cab door and snapping towards the seats- or trying to at least. The sound was muffled and leathery. As Eren got in, and Levi followed after, he added, "I need to stop by my place. You can either come in or go home, I'll pay the fare, it's your choice."

Eren eyed the other man for a few moments, trying to decide if this was some elaborate rouse to get him into bed or not. After noticing Levi's pallor and the way he was breathing, short and clearly constricted, he decided to let that fear go. Levi was someone he could trust, he had realized that over the past two hours- the way he was eyeing Eren but pointedly keeping his hands to himself. And right now, he was a man who was clearly distressed. The last thing on his mind had to be sex with a virtual stranger.

And seeing him like this urged Eren to stay by him, to maybe offer some help even if the chances he'd be allowed to were slim.

"I'll, um... I'll stay, if it's okay," he answered after they reached the freeway. It took Levi a few minutes, but he gave a slight shake of his head to acknowledge he had heard. "Are you okay?" Eren tried, careful this time to keep his hands in his lap.

Again, he only got a slight nod as an answer.

When they reached Levi's apartment building, he watched as the man literally threw money at the cabbie and darted out of the car.

"I'm sorry," Eren offered under the glare of the man before hurrying after his date.

Following Levi up a flight of stairs, more worried than ever, Eren all but yelped when Levi whirled on him when the reached a door.

"Take your shoes of here and leave them in the entryway, then wash your hands in the kitchen," he said while bending down to quickly unlace his boots and kick them off.

Eren did as he was told then waited in a small living room while Levi clunked around in the back of the apartment. While waiting, he noticed a few things about Levi's living space.

It was impeccably tidy. Oddly impersonal. The hardwood floors literally shined, reflecting surfaces and objects, which in turn reflected off of each other. Eren was willing to bet nothing was ever touched unless it was cleaned. Nothing was in excess, nothing seemed to reflect Levi as a person.

"Oh, shit," Eren hissed, realization hitting him like a brick.

He stared at Levi, amazed, when he wandered into the living room. He was certainly dressed more comfortably; a tank top that revealed the tattoos Eren had been so curious about, and a pair of sweats. The gloves were gone, as was the mask, and he looked completely at ease.

What looked like blades peeked out from over Levi's shoulder and continued down to his elbow. From that point on gears and roses gradually went to his knuckles. There was even a grotesque human on the side of his neck.

"You're OCD," he blurted while forcing his gaze back up to the man's face.

"I'm also a germaphobe," he said with a shrug, though the way his expression darkened almost dared Eren to say something about it.

Eren actually grinned and let out a breathy laugh, surprising Levi who's face went slack for a moment, eyes wide. He chewed on his lip piercing and even shifted uncomfortably.

Sex had to be awkward for a man who had to wear gloves outside of his own home.

"Have you deleted my picture yet?" Eren asked, leaning against the closest piece of furniture and smiling. "You got to take me home after all."

His surprise must have been the reason a short, soft, laugh burst from Levi, though it was swallowed quickly and he almost succeeded in schooling his features. His lips, however, still quivered as he fought a smile.

"I think that was a one night deal, kid," he answered, grey eyes losing their coldness and at once melting. Eren didn't think he'd ever seen eyes as light as that look as warm and inviting as Levi's did in that moment.

"Want to make another?" Eren asked softly, suddenly shy and out of sorts. Did he want to make another? Would he be okay leading Levi on, like Armin had said? Looking into what had to be the happiest expression Levi could make in that moment, Eren wasn't so sure.

And he certainly wasn't foolish enough to believe 'Levi was different.' His heart had told him that many a time before, so he had stopped listening to it. But he couldn't deny the fact that he did want to see Levi again...

"When and where?" Levi countered just as softly, regarding him curiously as he crossed his arms.

Maybe just a few more dates...

"There's a diner across from my apartment, I'll text you the address," he answered, but bit his tongue before saying he'd like to meet up tomorrow morning, as soon as possible. No, that was desperate and needy, and playing hard to get was what got him this chance in the first place. "How about Tuesday, around three o'clock?"

Maybe it was his imagination, but Levi looked mildly disappointed before he shrugged and nodded. "Make it two o'clock and we've got a date," he all but purred.

Eren flushed, nodded, then grabbed his jacket. "You know, I don't really know how this dating thing works and all-"

Levi smirked and arched a delicate eyebrow. "Well, usually I'd kiss you goodnight on the front porch, then your dad would burst out of the door with a rifle in hand. Trial and error, kid. Practice makes perfect. All that bullshit. Maybe I'll take you to prom in the winter."

Eren nearly choked. "Nice try, Romeo," he laughed. "But I've got adult things to dream about," Eren teased, smirking when Levi's gaze clouded. "Like bills and taxes and how the hell I'm going to feed myself for the next week," Eren finished as he started towards the front door.

"Next time then, Juliet," Levi promised, following after him to close the door.

Eren realized then that while he had been testing Levi, Levi had been testing him. And as far as grades went, both had passed with flying colors.


End file.
